Wednesday, May 30, 2007 Look who's coming to diner We are having diner at my husband's ex wife's house on Friday night. Holy Fuck! To say that it is weird and awkward is an understatement. I'll back up and let you know how it happened. A few weeks ago I promised my SD (the 13yr old) that we would bring Olivia to pick them up (they live 1hr15min away) so her friends could meet her. She reminded her dad on Monday and asked if we would stay for diner when we come. He was kinda shocked and didn't know what to say so he told her he'd check with me to make sure we didn't already have plans. When he told me, you could have scraped my jaw off the floor - their house? With their mom and her boyfriend (my husband's ex-best friend). Ummm, uhhh, hmmm, shit. Yesterday we talked about it and both came to the conclusion that we have to go. His kids are way to old to be making bullshit excuses. I almost wonder if the idea for diner came from there mom. She must be curious to meet Olivia, she is the sister to her three children. But still, I'd rather eat a turd sandwich for diner than have diner in his ex-wife's house. The way I deal with his ex is avoidance. We don't hate each other, in fact, on the surface we get along just fine. The difficulty comes in that I think I intimidate her (she always rambles on like a dumb fuck around me) and I am too sensitive to the little things she says to get under my skin. I swear, if she makes any comments about being Olivia's step mom, I'll be sure to tell her where to send the child support cheque. I can't stand the thought of seeing her hold my daughter, it makes me want to wretch. The only thing that gets me through is knowing that between me, my husband, his ex and her boyfriend - I am the least uncomfortable. The three of them have a sorted long story past which I have no part in so I feel much less tension then the three of them do. You still might wonder why we are going? Honestly, because we have to. It's what's fair to his children. This past thanksgiving I had a diner that included both my mom/grandma and my dad/girlfriend. I didn't care what my mom or dad's girlfriend thought of each other, I wanted my entire family to sit down to diner and that's what they did. How can I not do the same for my stepchildren? They want their sister to have diner at there house and that's what will happen. If nothing else, life is interesting. posted by Just another Jenny @ 11:30 AM   22 Comments: At 1:12 PM,  Mary Ellen and Steve said… Yikes! That will be interesting. I think that you're right though. It will mean a lot to the kids. Good luck!   At 1:16 PM,  Flygirl said… I'll be looking forward to hearing how it went. :) I think that you have a really healthy take on things Jen. Those stepkids lucked out.   At 1:49 PM,  TeamWinks said… Ahhh the stories that will come out of that dinner! Good for you for being strong enough to step up to the plate for the kids. Good luck!   At 3:10 PM,  Chelsea said… Good for you Jenny. That is exactly what being a step mom is all about I think. Putting your step kids before yourself or all the petty things that might have been done by their parents. I hope someday my stepson sees that is what we are trying to do for him. His mom and her husband are another story...but maybe one day we will get there. Bravo!   At 3:58 PM,  donna said… You are so good to your stepkids. That is so healthy and sets such a wonderful example. I'm proud to "know" you!   At 4:26 PM,  Lut C. said… What a situation! Good luck.   At 5:09 PM,  mom to three great kids said… Good for you!! very mature of you too...:) Good luck and can't wait to hear about it...   At 5:44 PM,  Mel said… all I have to say is GOOD FOR YOU! You are doing the right thing for the right reasons! :)   At 9:02 PM,  Jaimie said… Good luck! It might be awkward and it might be just fine. You are doing the right thing. The really, really grown up thing to do! Good for you!   At 11:22 PM,  kirby said… Though I don't envy your situation, I do hope that if I ever found myself in a similar spot, I could handle it with such decorum. Honestly, you're a gem to balance so many issues so marvelously. When I read your blog, I always end up thinking, "I'd be a cold day in hell before I'd..." I'm sure I'm not the only one who has learned a lot from you.   At 12:30 AM,  Mony said… Team Canada! Talk about Days Of Our Lives!! I do hope it goes well.....I am very proud of you for doing something so painful for the sake of the kiddies! Very Grown Up.   At 1:12 AM,  Sarah said… I haven't had the time to stop by yet to say congratulations. Olivia is beautiful...love the pouch! I have a Hotsling and use it all the time with either one or the other little one.   At 7:41 PM,  Jenny said… Sure sounds like a nice awkward evening. Hopefully it won't last too long!   At 5:23 AM,  Drew said… You are fabulous Jen. Regarding the last post (sorry am slow these days) - great looking pouch. Olivia looks really comfy in it. Good luck with the dinner thing...yikes!   At 7:34 PM,  darch said… As much as it is a pain in the ass, it definitely means the world to your step-children. It takes a ton of strength. Hope it went well, or at least as well as it could.   At 9:49 PM,  Rumour Miller said… Good on you Jenny! Way to put the children first....   At 10:53 PM,  GLouise said… Can't wait to hear your narrative of "the dinner!" :-) It is sure to be memorable ;-)   At 8:47 PM,  Sunny Jenny said… How did the dinner go? And more pictures of Oliva please!   At 10:47 AM,  stella said… Hi Jenny, I can totally relate to the uncomfortableness - we're having dinner with the ex twice a week. What gets me through it is knowing that he's as or more uncomfortable than me. Oh - and with others holding your baby - been there too! It would twist my insides everytime they'd take him right out of my arms. I hope the dinner goes well for you. (quick and painless!) You're doing such a wonderful thing for ALL your children. -Stella   At 8:09 PM,  soralis said… Slowly catching up. The dinner sounds interesting. Your new daughter is adorable! Take care   At 6:56 AM,  Catherine said… Talk about a cliffhanger! I'm desperate to know what happened at the dinner. Did you come to blows? Did she bring a rolling pin down on your knuckles, thus disabling your powers of blog? What's keeping you - surely not that gorgeous baby? Oooh do tell! Catherine, UK   At 6:44 PM,  Beagle said… Wondering how that went. You're a better woman than I.   Post a Comment Links to this post:   <$BlogBacklinkTitle$>   <$BlogBacklinkSnippet$> posted by <$BlogBacklinkAuthor$> @ <$BlogBacklinkDateTime$> Create a Link << Home