Thursday, June 14, 2007 Like a Virgin It's been so long since I've posted I almost feel like a blog virgin. I've got 100 posts in my head but my dear little sweetie HATES the computer. She can be happy as can be and the minute I sit down to do a real post, she screams. I've got about 10 posts in draft that have no more than a title and a paragraph. If I'm going to keep this up, posts might have to get a bit shorter. But that's not really what I'm talking about. I'm talking about real virginity. It has been FOUR months since hubbie and I have had sex. That's a long damn time. I feel like a virgin all over again. I'm scared it will hurt and wonder if either of us will enjoy it. He's starting to make those come hither eye's at me so I know it won't be much longer now. I'm trembling like a school girl on prom night (do girls even wait that long these days?). I had my final check up with my OB today. He said that I've healed up nicely and gave me the go-ahead for a little lovin. He did warn me that I could be a bit dusty down there because of breast feeding so lube might be a good idea. Thanks, that helps my anxiety. Of course, the visit today brought up some old feelings of infertility. First, the birth control discussion and the fact that he really doubts it necessary (although stranger things have apparently happened). Then there was the good-bye. Will I ever see him again? Then the pang of jealousy as I left and saw the pg girls in the waiting room. Why the hell am I jealous, I was sitting in that same chair pg 9 weeks ago. There is a lingering feeling in the bottom of my heart that knows I would really like one more. Then there is sex. Sex makes me feel infertile. The most I have ever enjoyed sex was when we were TTC and actually thought that would get me pg. Once we learned it wasn't, we when on a bit of a sexual hiatus. I have to get back to having sex for the pure pleasure of it. Oh, my life is so hard....hopefully my life isn't the only thing that's hard. (It's Olivia's 2mnth b-day already tomorrow, hopefully I get some time for a mushy post with lots of pics) OH YEAH, I almost forgot - diner with the ex. Believe it or not, it went quite well. I didn't even mind her holding Olivia. Mostly because she said how pretty she is and then said she looks so much like me (does that mean she called me pretty, mwahahaha). The cherry on top was that her boyfriend (the kid's stepdad) didn't have the balls to be there. I'm pretty sure he was just sitting at the coffee shop around the corner waiting for us to leave because he called during diner. When we sat down to eat, the ex had a choice between sitting beside me or hubbie - she choose me, I appreciated it. I think we are at a point where we can be quite cival for the kids. That being said, there will be no diner this Friday. I'm nice, not crazy. p.s. - I was going to put breast milk in the pie I made for diner but because you all praised me for being so mature I didn't. You rotten buggers spoiled my fun. posted by Just another Jenny @ 8:30 PM   7 Comments: At 9:48 PM,  donna said… I know it's scary. Honestly, we tried once and it did hurt, so we stopped. But then we tried again about a week later and it was ok. It got better little by little. And even though it's TMI, over the past few months, the sex is actually better than it ever was before the baby. I think things got rearranged down there, but in a good way.   At 11:31 PM,  Flygirl said… Thank god I'm not the only one scared to death about having sex. Sex for pleasure? I barely remember it & so desperately want that again.   At 1:07 AM,  twolinesonastick said… I am also terrified of having sex. For us it's been about ten weeks... but that was only once ten weeks ago and a month or so before that. I am somewhat dreading it but know I need to "get it over with" or I will get more anxious about it. And hubby has been kind of asking for it lately :(   At 12:05 PM,  Jenny said… Hubby and I waited about 4 weeks after delivery to do the deed and it was a little painful at first, but it is feeling better. Just take it easy and don't get either of your hopes up that it will be amazing for a little while... Glad to hear the dinner with the Ex went ok. One less thing to stress about!   At 7:12 PM,  Seamus said… Hmmmmmm ... sex for the pleasure of it? Who'd of thought? LOL Olivia is simply gorgeous! :)   At 3:50 PM,  Mel said… I still have a few weeks to go before even thinking about it, but it's good to know that many people are in the same nervous state that I am. Hopefully in a month or so.   At 4:24 PM,  Gemini Girl said… Since I started the IVF process in early April, me and hubby have only had sex once. He's about to pass out from lack of loving. Frankly, I could go without it for years. When we did have sex the other week it really hurt- I felt like a virgin! It's only been 2 and a half months and I feel 19 again.   Post a Comment Links to this post:   <$BlogBacklinkTitle$>   <$BlogBacklinkSnippet$> posted by <$BlogBacklinkAuthor$> @ <$BlogBacklinkDateTime$> Create a Link << Home